On Sabbatical - See You In August!

Enough

Period.

YKWIH #8

You Know What I Hate?

Down at the Barrie Waterfront (excuse the mess!) when you stroll the boardwalk, you'll notice the docks and the entrance to each with a steel frame to keep out the riffraff.

Now, here's what I hate. The entrances - all squeak. S Q U E A K! How can anyone sleep on their boat with this scraping and squeaking as the door frames rub against the metal.

Doesn't anyone at the City of Barrie have some motor oil?

You know what else I hate? On Mulcaster Street in Barrie, next to the City Hall skating rink/fountain, over the street, there is a large 30 foot steel outline in the shape of the former City Hall building. It's a nice salute to the past. Except for one thing. The lights that frame the shape are burnt out. In the Spring, they're all fresh but by the time summer arrives and the tourists and our families are in town, and I'm showing my friends around our amazing city, I'm ashamed to explain what the dark structure is - a nice design with half the lights burnt out.

I guess nobody at City Hall notices. Especially from that private office with the corner window. Why? Coz it's dark! The lights are out!

You know what else I hate? The City of Barrie is cheap cheap cheap with Lifeguards. This year they tried to cancel the lifeguard program and save $40,000. Arrrrrrg.

We have two beaches in Barrie. The hot weather comes about the first of June. Beaches are packed all day but there's no lifeguards until the July 1st weekend. Why? Barrie is cheap. You know what else? On Labour Day weekend, the last weekend of the summer - no lifeguards on duty. The lifeguard program is closed for the season - on the LAST NICE LONG HOLIDAY WEEKEND OF THE SUMMER. Cheap.

Go to Orillia. They have lifeguards and a nicer waterfront.

(YKWIH is inspired by the "YKWIH" blog written by my daughter, on behalf of a friend who is too shy to tell you what she hates, so my daughter handles the blog. It's confusing I know.

Why Bother To Pray?

I'm troubled. The events of Haiti were very upsetting to me. But I was impressed that the world responded with aid of money and skilled relief workers. In a way, I think the world worked together and showed compassion and didn't blow it like the neglect in New Orleans two years ago. I was encouraged by nations coming together.

Then - BLAM - then Chili happened.
And then China had a quake.
And then the volcano.
And then Times Square.
And then an oil spill.
And then Nashville.

People are losing their lives, their treasures, their homes and their families. I don't know what it's like to see my home ruined or not be able to get drinking water, or not be able to drive away from it all because there are no roads.

I throw money into relief aid because I can, but I'm not skilled at construction and I'm not a doctor so I can't help medically. All I can do is pray and throw money.

Pray.

When God allows massive destruction to happen, one week after the next, even the CNN staff can't keep up with the atrocities - how am I supposed to say "I love you God, and I worship you" when this is going on?

I know it's okay to be mad at God. He doesn't love me any less.

But how do you find the heart to worship a loving God when the world God created is literally falling apart?

Why bother?

Numb

Yesterday, was day 2 of my sabbatical and I celebrated five non-depressed days in a row. Yesterday, I was overly productive. I was thinking of things to do for 13 weeks, which originally consisted of "lots of personal rest and rediscovering beauty - not work".

Well, both happened which is great and I encouraged myself by helping a couple friends, making travel plans, biking with my wife, meeting with carpenter to re-design the patio, encouraging and hanging with my elderly dad, investigating some new non-radio work ideas (uh oh - too many), great conversation with an old friend, offering to consult another Christian station for a few days - just for fun. "Ambitious and productive" would describe yesterday.

I ended the day, late at night, my wife in bed, as I watched "Life As A House". I really loved the movie but it put me to sleep with mixed feelings. (Sorry, no movie review. Too numb to think about it.)

I was supposed to relax on sabbatical. Now I just feel overwhelmed from yesterday's activities and stupid for being so productive.

I think I'll take the dog for a walk and forget about yesterday.

(Uh, I also didn't start my day with God.)

Reflections and Confessions

Thinking about last Thursday.

Went with Janice to Harvey's. We're driving into the parking lot and in front of us was a car, stopped as the driver walked around to the passenger door to help the elderly woman out of the car. I used to think "Hurry up! I'm waiting! Get outta the freaking car! Let's go! I'm hungry!".

Now, in my mind's eye, I see my (deceased) Mom and 85 year old Dad, trying to shift their tired bodies and arthritic legs to the door. And it takes time. No doubt they're looking forward to a nice dinner with their family - and there's an unsympathetic idiot in the car behind them boiling with anger coz they're taking seconds too long. I am a jerk! I am a jerk! I am a jerk!

But I'm learning compassion.

Thinking about Friday.

Left work at 2pm for my sabbatical with mixed feelings. Apprehension. Unknown future. Feeling dreams and visions - but are they from God or my imagination?

As I left the station I felt happy knowing the station is in good hands with a great staff.

But I also thought - "What am I doing, Lord?. 13 weeks is crazy! What am I gonna do? Will I be closer to You in 13 weeks. Will my family all be alive in 13 weeks? Will I rediscover my lost passions in these 13 weeks? I'm worried about wasting this precious time."

Vowing not to listen to LIFE during my sabbatical, I turned on Q107 as I drove home and heard Ra McGuire singing - "We're Here For a Good Time" - a song that is - well - personal - on many levels.

I swear to you I felt God speaking to me thru this song - "I'm right here, Scott. I'm here now, and I'm here to get you thru all 13 weeks. You will find passion and direction. Trust me."

I admit, those words could be my imagination because it's more likely that I would sing along with Trooper than think on heavenly things at that moment in time. But I don't think so.

By the end of the song my shirt was covered in tears and snot.

Praise God for Trooper.