It's been two weeks since my Mom passed away. Up until yesterday I didn't grieve her passing. Mom lived 93 years - a full life - and as I watched her health decline over the last month in the hospital, the end was not a surprise, but a relief.
I was in Dad's retirement condo yesterday. He showed me how he re-arranged their bedroom so it reminded him of Mom. All Mom's favourite teddy bears were sitting on the pillow of the bed. Older family pictures were re-framed sitting around the room. A picture of me about age 9 with my brother, Mom and Dad. The leopard skin bedspread Mom made was folded neatly on the bed.
The tears began to squirt out.
I took Dad for a car ride and dropped him off at his retirement home and waved goodbye. And as I drove out of the parking lot, I noticed Dad didn't go inside. What's he doing? Instead he walked out to the road to the sidewalk and began a short walk. I watched him in my rear view mirror and I could only see his back as he walked away.
I wonder what he was thinking.
It was the saddest thing I'd ever seen. Everyday Mom and Dad would take walks together. Now my Dad was taking an afternoon walk without his lifelong partner. She's gone. Now it's just him. Alone to think about what was, and how he will get through it.
I think that's enough for now.
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