I think I’ve mentioned on the blog that I have "moderate depression". When I wrote yesterday’s blog, I was really feeling bummed out. That situation which I wrote about, and another situation with someone (not at LIFE), set me off. If you have depression, you know how hard it is to get out of the darkness. Nothing works. You just sulk and stay silent.
Tuesday night when it really kicked in, I called four friends, hoping one of them would "talk me up" and no one came through for me. So the night spun down. Probably the sleeping pills and Tylenol Tuesday night had a lot to do with the hangover of darkness the next day - the day I wrote the blog.
Yesterday, I got invited to a friend’s house for dinner last night. During dinner, the depression came off and the night was fun. Me and my dinner buddy hit the gym, and then I ran into another buddy there and we went for an 11 o’clock swim.
This depression thing is really crappy. There are a couple of situations that act as triggers and if I know they’re coming, I can work through it or avoid feeling depressed. But there’s a couple of other situations that I cannot avoid. I have anxiety about them and unfortunately the end result is "a really bad night".
So right now, 10% of the population is on an antidepressant and afraid to tell anyone because friends won’t understand. You’re not alone. My friends understand my battle with depression but they do a lousy job of helping me out of the darkness. They don’t take my phone calls or provide an exit for me. I usually sleep it off.
Oh, if you’re wondering - do I do a radio show when I’m depressed? Yes, most of the time. I plow through coz - "the show must go on". Fun huh?
Today is good. Praise God.