Thursday, July 30, 2009

I Sleep In A Nice Bed

I’m bored.

I get bored a bit easily. Do I have ADHD? Maybe. Half the people can’t stay with a conversation for more than 30 seconds.

Here’s the deal. If I’m not working on a project, or have a project in my future plans, I feel like I’m failing. I’m accomplishing nothing. If I’m not busy - I guess I think I’m not working. Since being diagnosed with moderate depression, my energy has been zapped, leaving me to fill like chair-filler.

I see other Christian radio companies starting new stations, adding repeater stations, purchasing stations that went bankrupt. But I really don’t feel God leading me to any of these initiatives. LIFE is here. It's good. It's effective. So another station....maybe later, not now.

What do I want? My life is perfect. My workload is good. My days are flexible, which I know my staff would testify to. But often I feel like I'm just idling.

I’ve been thinking about asking God to give me "new vision". Not so much for me, personally, but for LIFE 100.3. We’ve been blessed to have the CRTC understand our requests for repeater stations and we jumped our power to 40,000 a few years ago. So, our has expansion continued.

(Just for the recording - I AM NOT looking for a list of cities that need a LIFE repeater! No way! Uh, unless you have some money.)

My Pastor is pretty smart. He once told me, that "vision" begins with a burning in your soul. You see a void of something that needs to be filled and you have the passion and resources to change that situation. Sounds reasonable.

So, starting there, the one burden that is on my heart is the fact that there’s a lot of people who don’t have beds. They sleep in a dump. On a cardboard box. Their families have deserted them to fend for themselves. Without a job or money. Without love. It makes me sick.

Every night I go to bed with a plump pillow, a nice comforter, a king-size bed. I know that I am blessed to have this basic necessity. And then I think about real people I’ve met who have no bed I want to do more than throw money at it. I’ve done that. And I don’t think the answer is a cheque. When Jesus said to "love your neighbour" that seems to imply some kind of action - something more than a smile.

"God, please give me a new vision. I’m listening." Am I on to something?

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