Showing posts with label depression mental disease. Show all posts
Showing posts with label depression mental disease. Show all posts
Friday, January 7, 2011
Saturday, August 21, 2010
You Will Never Be Healed
I try not to blog about this but it’s weighing on me, so by sharing, it clears my head (a bit) and maybe you might have a comment.
Depression. This is a mental disease. Huh? I have a mental disease? As a creative person, and someone who likes to conceptualize projects (like LIFE 100.3), having a mental disease makes me feel like the best years are behind me.
I’m tired of taking drugs with side effects. The side effects are sometimes worse than the depression. I told my psychiatrist, my psychologist and my GP that I just want to be healed.
All three told me – “You will never be healed. You may go into remission but depression comes back to 80% of the people.”
Swell.
When I’m having a good day, I can’t even remember the horrible feeling of depression. I actually believe I’m healed because I feel so good – positive, strong, alive and happy.
When I’m having an average day, I don’t really care much about anything – biking, food, love, anything. But I push thru.
When I’m having a depression day (once every three weeks), I honestly feel that I will never be happy again.
Again - YOU WILL NEVER BE HEALED.
I know all of this is common for depressed people. I'm not unique.
Even after finishing a blessed 13-week sabbatical, I feel like I’ve lost my summer. I didn’t feel like being active all summer. I wasted time. Fewer bike rides, fewer visits to see friends, fewer concerts.
I kinda rate my days. Today is an average day (so far), but I’m motivated enough to blog my feelings.
I know God can do anything. With the snap of his finger I could be healed. But I'm not. And those words YOU WILL NEVER BE HEALED make me feel defeated.
Ya.
Depression. This is a mental disease. Huh? I have a mental disease? As a creative person, and someone who likes to conceptualize projects (like LIFE 100.3), having a mental disease makes me feel like the best years are behind me.
I’m tired of taking drugs with side effects. The side effects are sometimes worse than the depression. I told my psychiatrist, my psychologist and my GP that I just want to be healed.
All three told me – “You will never be healed. You may go into remission but depression comes back to 80% of the people.”
Swell.
When I’m having a good day, I can’t even remember the horrible feeling of depression. I actually believe I’m healed because I feel so good – positive, strong, alive and happy.
When I’m having an average day, I don’t really care much about anything – biking, food, love, anything. But I push thru.
When I’m having a depression day (once every three weeks), I honestly feel that I will never be happy again.
Again - YOU WILL NEVER BE HEALED.
I know all of this is common for depressed people. I'm not unique.
Even after finishing a blessed 13-week sabbatical, I feel like I’ve lost my summer. I didn’t feel like being active all summer. I wasted time. Fewer bike rides, fewer visits to see friends, fewer concerts.
I kinda rate my days. Today is an average day (so far), but I’m motivated enough to blog my feelings.
I know God can do anything. With the snap of his finger I could be healed. But I'm not. And those words YOU WILL NEVER BE HEALED make me feel defeated.
Ya.
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