Wasting My Day

Yesterrday Pastor Wayne talked about the trapeze artist, who jumps into the air, with his feet wrapped around the bar as he swings to the other side of the tent, waiting for the catcher to catch him. The "flyer" needs "the catcher". He trusts the catcher.

God gives us gifts and talents or whatever you wanna call them to get the job done. But Wayne says, "if we go beyond our gifts and talents, we're in a place where we're the "flyer" and we trust the "catcher" to catch us.

The time it takes for the jumper to jump until he is caught is mere seconds, but the mental wait could be much longer.

It's like waiting for God. It's so hard to wait. Wait for our diseases to be healed or the relationship to be restored or the money to come in. We do what we can do in our power and trust God to do the rest.

I found myself in church thinking three things.

Depression - when is he gonna heal me. I have no motivation to do something new, or even get out of bed.

Faith - The more I learn the more questions I have. I ask my Christian friends for their answers, which are seldom satisfying. Leaving me with more questions and feeling alone in my faith.

What's next? At LIFE? In my life? Is God going to ask me to jump and I'll be afraid he won't catch me?

I feel unsettled. I wonder, wait and waste my days - waiting. Today, I feel useless. Today sucks.