Yes, I had my hopes up. Actually, I was overly optimistic. Is it wrong to have high expectations?
I'm bummed. sitting at the computer - it's late. I'm reflecting on everything. Our presentation to the CRTC was fabulous. My 88.1 team performed amazingly. My committee who worked behind the scenes to provide valuable information and prayer support were awesome. We did our homework by researching other applications. We role played. We watched the other applications. We hired two research companies. We produced a listener video that oozed passion and heart. And, at the Hearing, the Commissioners seemed to like us.
I felt that all of my years in radio culminated with this application. I am proud to say that it was my best work. I have no regrets. There was nothing more I could do.
However, I knew the strong possibility that another broadcaster could have submitted a better application with more stuff the CRTC liked, acting with deeper pockets and a longer track record. I understand. And that’s what happened. My friends at ROCK 95 got the 88.1 favour. They're good guys.
It’s been 12 hours since I got the lousy news. Maybe after a couple of nights sleep the world will make more sense.
If you know my Toby Mac story, of how one night I felt God’s warm hand on my head, my heart raced and I felt His calling over me last October...what does that mean? Did I mis-read it? Do I think I hear God’s voice but really I don’t?
How about the thousands of people who were praying for favour. Thousands. We prayed and prayed. What happened? Is God saying “no”?
And what about the people who said "God told me you are going to get 88.1"? What's that about? Did they or didn't they? And what about the next time you feel God tell you to do something? Maybe it's not God at all.
Is God saying, “Keep your eyes on LIFE 100.3 and don’t worry about acquiring more?” Maybe. Is God saying, “Hey, I want another Christian company for this job?" Wait...maybe it’s ME. Maybe I’M the roadblock?
From a business angle, I can accept the CRTC decision. From a spiritual angle how do you really know what God wants you to do?