I STILL GET DEPRESSED

I haven’t written about my ailment of depression for a while, which doesn’t mean it’s not happening - it is. I’m writing this for people who have depression and need a bit of hope.

Depression has plagued me now for about five years. I still see a psychiatrist once a month, who monitors my behaviour and keeps me on meds.

Thankfully, I haven’t had a "crash" for probably a year, but I still get gloomy moments to deal with. I define "gloomy" as being depressed without the hard crash that leads me to be hiding under the covers, feeling selfish, angry and lonely. Those moments are rare, mostly because I've learned to control them. Now those gloomy moments only happen about once a week, maybe a bit less and I’ll share about that.

Today, here I am, in the middle of the LIFE 100.3 annual radio Sharathon, which is an important fundraising event that requires me to be ready to go on the air and lead the team, which is impossible when a depression moment happens. It happened.

I was in the lunch room and a couple of situations came up, and it was more than I could handle. I went to my office to get away from it, and sulk if necessary. The emotional stuff took over, the wave of being overwhelmed came in and I stood there, stiff, almost unable to move, feeling confused and stuck. One of my employees prayed for me, and suggested I take a walk around the building for fresh air. That worked!

It's odd, but when a gloomy moment is about to happen, I seem to get a 10-second warning. It's almost like an approaching storm cloud and I can either run for shelter or get rained on. If I’m fast, I'll recognize the depression cloud coming and I respond immediately, such as leaving the room, or getting away from the people who are pulling me down.  I know I have ten seconds to leave and if I don’t, the storm of depression hits and I have to deal with it.  I'm happy to say, I’m quite successful with this response.

Something you should never say to someone with depression is, "can’t you just push through it?" Never say that.  They might kill you. (joking)  However, in my case, if I say that to myself, I can actually do it.

Three times in the last week, a wave of gloom hit me at the office. Years ago, I would have grabbed my coat and gone home to bed to sleep it off. Now, I tell myself, "if I can push thru this, I’ll be ok, and save myself a lot of wasted time sulking at home." It’s really hard. But every time I decide to push through, it works. And, each time I feel like that, I remember, "it worked the last time. Be strong. Push through."

Different things work for different people. For me, it’s the daily meds. It’s the therapy with the psychiatrist and it’s being strong and taking control. I’ve learned how to deal with it.

Now the great news! Because of depression, I have become more sensitive to other people with a mental illness. I understand their struggle. When people make irrational or hurtful comments, I know they are possibly dealing with some form of mental illness and the meds are not working, or they're just having a bad moment. I know I can’t fix them, but I know what to do to help them.

Depression sucks. But there is a way of getting control. If you’ve got depression, find your strength and take control. You can do it. I’m doing it.

THE HEART OF WORSHIP

Jody Cross, Ali Matthews, Will Walker, me (Scott Jackson),
Luke Langman  and LIFE 100.3's Evan Duran.

Sunday night (March 22, 2015), we presented "The Heart Of Worship" concert at Hi-Way Church in Barrie.  This was our third in the worship series - all of them free; we don't want to charge people to worship God. 

Jody Cross brought an A-level house band who backed up all the artists, including Luke Langman, Ali Matthews, Will Walker and of course Jody who played his latest radio singles.

In preparation, it's interesting, that each artist send Jody their songs, chord charts and lyrics. Jody and the band made the arrangement, and then there was only one full band practice, before showday.  Former LIFER, Woody Woodland was the drummer.

The LIFE team and Hi-Way crew worked all afternoon setting up lighting, videos, the dressing room, the merch booths and when I arrived about 6:20pm, there was already a line up of fans waiting for the doors to open.  After seating 600 people and reaching the fire limit, we closed the doors to a few dozen stragglers.

Inside, each artist played two songs, then an intermission and then two more songs from each artist.

Thanks so much for all your kind words about the show. We love working with Canadian artists, building their name recognition and bringing their music to LIFE listeners!

 

MONDAY

Mondays are a slow day. I plan it like that. I try to avoid any appointments or meetings if possible, because usually Monday just takes care of itself.

After a weekend, which is usually more busy than relaxing, I wake up feeling fairly positive, like this morning.

I went to pick up the garbage can from the end of the driveway and as I walked, the sun was out, it was quiet (I like in the country) and it felt really good to be alive.

In moments like that, I thank God for the good start to the day. And from there, there is a list of things I'm grateful for, and I go for it. People, situations, health, finances, etc.

As I leave home for work, I drive past a park on the waterfront and the sun comes up over the water. It's often a magnificent sight; to drive and breath it in - the air, the beauty, the blessing and the start of a new week. I continue my drive to LIFE 100.3, with the radio on, (of course), letting the lyrics of the Christian songs fill me; songs that encourage me and remind me of my faith. Very cool!

It reminds me of this Geoff Moore song - "Good To Be Alive".

AIR RAID 24

March 7, 2015 at Timothy Christian School - Barrie - Shonlock, Manafest, Sky Terminal, Loftland.

ASSESSING THE DAY

Are you like many people? When you wake up, do you assess the day before it even starts? God arranges the conditions of the day - not us, including the outcome of your broken computer, your health and even the weather.

If we decide that our day is not going to go well, we’ll miss the blessings God has planted along the way. Despite how we feel, God has the day under control so despite how we feel, let’s rejoice in it, and find the blessings waiting for us.

BACK IN THE STUDIO

Me and the band have returned to Beach Road Studios in Goderich with producer Siegfried Meier. Today is day 1.  The band is recording "Raise It Up", the new single.  Jordan Melo laid down the drum track, and GI Holm is recording guitar parts right now, and Robbert is cooking dinner!  After dinner, Robbert lays down the bass track.

Tomorrow we'll finish off guitars with Davey Hooper and vocals by the guy with the red pants.

This is a cool place.  It's out of the way, out of town, and they provide a "band hotel" right next door which sleeps about 8 people. A bunch of us went to Zehr's and picked up food for dinner, breakfast and lunch.

Once we get the song recorded, then Sig does some editing, and a rough mix.  Once we get all the extra stuff recorded, or re-recorded, then Sig does a mix - we approve or change, and then on to mastering to really make it sound big.

Our plan is to release it on the long weekend in May.

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Sign in the band hotel.

The band hotel.

GI laying down some rhythm. Siegfried and Pip watching.

Jordan was first up, laying down the beats.

Jordan - beats on "Raise It Up"

Sig looks happy with GI's playing.

Me, photo-bombing.

BEHIND THE SCENES WITH AFT - #7 - NORWOOD



Man, we so very much look forward to "SHOWDAY". It's like the night before xmas - we all get excited! And, on SHOWDAY, we are in total "show mode". Our regular lives are left at home. It's all about the band, the boys, hanging out, rockin' it, killin' it and making friends. This band life is such a blessing to us.

Well, you never know how a show is going to go - good or bad. Sometimes the day starts badly, and BOOM - the show is a killer. You never know.

Today, we hit the road, driving south on Highway 12, as I've done 5 million times, and we missed the cut-off to Highway 7. Duh. We figured it out about 4km down the road. Not a good start.

The only other bad thing that happened at the Norwood gig was on the first song. Again, not a good way to start a show. Robbert Vandergrift's bass guitar cable was busted or something and the bass didn't make a noise. What to do? He jumped off stage, grabbed another cable, plugged in and was set for the second song. Oh boy - we wondered. What's next? Nothing else went wrong. PTL.

The opening band was the local youth worship band named Days Gone Bye, but in the middle of the set they changed their name to Friday Night Freeway. They were also our local loading crew so we made friends immediately. Jack, Blake and Evan helped us unload and saved us a ton of set-up time, so much, that we were nearly an hour ahead of schedule.

After a short soundcheck with FOH guy Jonathan Hooper, Days Gone Bye stepped up. The in-ear monitor system was totally new to them and we took some extra time to get the mix just right.

In the AFT set, we blasted through the usual songs - "Falling Asleep", "Trouble", "Earthquake" and "Meant To Live". Then, Jordan Melo gave us a blistering drum solo! Nice work, Jordy!

After playing our new single (buy it on iTunes, please!) "Way Too Young" we went into the acoustic set, and, once again, uh oh - Pip Lucas launched into "Love Song For A Saviour", which is an awesome song, but the scheduled song is "Me and Jesus". Um...this has happened quite often. I think we need to write the setlist in a BIGGER font!

Well, we played a bit overtime and Pastor Andrew Lacey and Jeff Hackett didn't seem to mind! Thanks guys! Hope to play for you again, maybe in the Fall!