MY BIG TOE

Last March, I was moving a table - the glass top slid off like a guillotine and smashed down on my right foot. Crap, did it hurt!

I took off my sock and there was blood on my big toe. I felt faint. I sat down. Staff came to my aid, iced my foot and sent me to hospital to get checked. Sure enough, my toe was busted. Never in my life have I broken a bone, til now.

"You're gonna lose the nail", everyone said. Fine.

For two months I felt the pain as I walked, and as I biked I bit my lip and took advil. Then by May, the pain was gone, but not the nail.

It is now the end of June and the nail is an off-slime-green, most of it still hanging on. I think I'm setting a record for a dead nail.

YES OR NO?!

Having watched Judge Judy regularly, here is what I've learned - most people seem unable to answer the questions without getting off track.  They ramble. They want to embellish the answer to a question that only required a "yes or no" answer.

I see this in real life.  Do your friends do that to you?  Do you do that as well?

I guess I see myself doing this. Instead of answering a direct question, I probably want to give some background to my answer.

Yes or no. Just answer the question and spare us all the drama that isn't relevant.

Haha - I really like this show!

Watch the edits of cases 4 and 5. Wild!

THE DAY MY DOCK WASHED AWAY

The wind blowing across Lake Simcoe was strong. The waves were not over the dock, so I would estimate at about 18 inches.

While visiting Toronto, my neighbour phoned to tell my dock has been washed off the base and was stuck under HIS dock - and the waves were five feet high.  Five feet high?  Really?!

I got home and sure enough an entire top section of my dock was missing, a quarter of it retrievable, and the rest - vanished into the bowels of Lake Simcoe.

The stone path from the patio to the water was also somewhat washed away.

Living on the water has a whole new set of issues.

JESUS FOR PRESIDENT

I'm not much of a Bible scholar. I like reading books that explain Bible stories in a 21 century way of thinking, flushing out the religious blabber. (I think it's called Christianese.)  Reading the Bible is often hard for me, probably because of the weird names of people and places and for some reason my mind glosses over as I dream about bikes and seadoos.

Jesus For President
Author: Shane Claiborne

Jesus For President is fairly political, and that is definitely not my interest. But between the political references there is a lot of exploration, whereby I feel myself nodding "Ya, that's it, I agree".

Like, I didn't fully consider "manna from the sky" until the author explains it as God saying, "Don't take extra; there will be enough" and when Israelites hoarded extra, God sent maggots to destroy it.

The story of David killing Goliath with a stone and slingshot is a bit like the idea of killing Bin Laden with a super-soaker.  Impossible, but that's what David did.

Or, the stuttering prophet to be the voice of God. Or a barren old lady to became the mother of a nation. Or the homeless boy who would lead the people home. Or the shepherd boy who would be king is like picking a kid from the sweatshop to run a corporation. Interesting concepts.

Perhaps my favourite line so far (because I'm only halfway thru) is this:  "We in the church are schizophrenic: we want to be good Christians, but deep down we trust that only the power of the state and its militaries and markets can really make a difference in the world."

More so, I love the packaging, written on faded pages, with ink notes in the margin and red circles around key thoughts. It's an already-read-book-with notes.

STUFF I LOVE ABOUT SUMMER

Bonfires at night.

Patio chairs on the dock.

Long days.

Dusty bike paths.

Air conditioning.

Biking.

Outdoor parties. (with bands)

Convertible roofs.

Bright flowers.

Seadooing.

Waterskiing (anyone want to take me for a ride?)

Kayaking.

Short morning bike rides

Sweaty afternoon bike rides.

Rides with my wife.

Walking the boardwalk on the Orillia waterfront.

 

 

Biking along the Trent Canal in Peterborough.

Observing the traffic jams on the 400 and taking the back road home.

Lemonade.

BBQ'd burgers and chicken-kabobs.

T-shirts.

No shirts.

A breeze through a screen door

Paddling on AJ's board.

A sea of red and white on July 1.

Biking along the Rideau Canal

Fireworks over Parliament Hill

Chasing away the ducks.

Hot patio stones.

Seedless grapes.

Red, orange and yellow sunrises.

WHAT'S IN YOUR IPOD?

I have several playlists in my iPod. Soft stuff for sleep, instrumental stuff for devotions, a country playlist, a workout playlist and a "reasonable new" playlist.

Here's some of the new stuff:

Earthquake/Anthem For Today
Houdini/Owen Thomas
I Knew You Were Trouble/Taylor Swift
Glass Houses/The Classic Crime
Ready For The World/Ruslan
Better Dig Two/The Band Perry
American Noise/Skillet
All In/Stellar Kart
So Far Apart/KJ-52

Yup.

AN OPEN LETTER TO MICK AND KEITH

Hey boys, for many years I’ve loved your music, with my discovery back in 1978 when I was working at CKLC and the “Some Girls” album was out. I recall playing "Beast of Burden" in a current rotation. There were two DJs in particular who turned me on to your music history, and then I was hooked.

In 1981 when “Start Me Up” came out, I knew I had found my personal Rolling Stones. Not the old 60's stuff that the old people liked, but a fresh, new song!  In my mind’s eye I can even now remember hearing it for the first time on the radio. I danced in my room! “Once you start me up I’ll never stop...”

I remember they said your 1981 tour would be “the last time” you’d tour because you were getting old. Well, that’s how the press hyped it. Of course every tour that followed was “the last time.”

More than your music though I love your marketing. Knowing that you (Mick) went to the London School of Economic, I know you are actually a business man only disguised as a rock star, which makes the whole Rolling Stones Empire more intriguing to me. You plan every tour and every new record with advance gimmics just to hook me.  I mean, man, you never just release a record. You bait me until I think I’m going to pop with excitement! I remember reading about how you put the band on a flatbed trailer and rolled down Broadway in New York City on a busy lunch hour, performing “Brown Sugar” over and over!  I recall when a helicopter followed your car as you drive to your media party to announce the “Bridges To Babylon Tour”.

I took this in 1981 in Buffalo, paid with a
scalped ticket and my carefully
smuggled in camera.

I’m from Toronto, so it’s very cool that you made Toronto your pre-tour home for many years, booking the Pearson airport hanger or at the private school on Mount Pleasant and rehearsing for weeks until the stage show was slick and ready for a tour.

Then, the week before your tour started you and the Stones would perform at small club show in Toronto with maybe only 200 people in the audience, not billed as the Rolling Stones but some other forgetful name, but you made sure the secret was out early enough to create pandemonium. When I heard you were playing “the surprise show” at the Phoenix, I almost camped out for tickets!

In the 90's you released the concert movie “The Stones At The Max”. I drove to Ottawa 20 times to see that movie, loving the IMAX camera angles that made me feel like I was on stage in the band.

Then, in 2008, when your concert movie “Shine A Light” came out, me and my friend drove to Colossus Theatre in Vaughan so I could see you in humongous thundering Imax brilliance! My friend Dan missed most of the movie - he watched me because I was standing and dancing for most of the concert. Oh - I mean movie.

Well, although I’ve seen you in concert many times, I’ve never met you. Meeting you remains the only thing left on my bucket list.

Now it’s 2013. I’ve watched your You Tube videos of your (supposed) surprise shows at a Paris night club. I knew that meant the start of another tour. And I know you love Toronto so I can count on at least one concert date!

That is until I heard a single ticket for your show was priced at $6,995 for a floor seat. Gulp. Are you guys out of your minds?  What are you thinking?!

Guys, I’ve supported you, loved you, followed you, scrapbooked you, wore your t-shirts and bought all your albums including the 3D cover and the bootlegs!  Me, and the rest of your millions of fans have made you rich rock stars. $6,995 - hello?!

Keith and Mick

Let me see.  One ticket - $6,995 x a 20,000 seat venue = $139,900,000 million per gig. Let’s say you do 20 shows. That’s $2,798,000,000.  And let’s say Live Nation (the tour promoter) takes 30%.  That leaves you with $19.5 billion dollars!

Wait....hold the phone!  Oh man, now I get it!  Ohhhh!  You guys are so smart!  Maybe this is another ingenious marketing plan! Yeah, that’s it! You’re going to take all those billions of dollars - the $19.5 billion I talked about - (and don’t forget the merch sales) - and you’re going to donate it to help world hunger. Man - you guys are going to be the heroes of all rock and roll eternity!  Ha! Even Bono will be jealous!

Coz, I know you don’t need the money. You have all the money. You don’t need the accomplishment. You don’t need the fame.

Wouldn’t you rather be remembered as the greatest rock and roll band in the world who gave it away, rather than squeeze your everyday working fans for all you could get?

Hmmm. But now that I think about it, I’ve not heard of you doing something incredibly generous like that before.  Coz, if anyone would know, it would be me, of course!

So, perhaps the Facebook comments are true? Mick, maybe you really are a greedy, adulteress jerk. And you’re going to be remembered as jumpin’ jack ass.